*I dont know what to say.

Ok, so its not that i have nothing to say. I have too much to say, so much i dont even know where to begin. I hate my dad for what he's done to my mum, he crushes her confidence every moment shes alone and its killing her. It killing me to see her like that. My sister strangled me in my sleep. Shes strange. Shes not the person i thought i knew. But then no-one is now a-days. I have no idea what goes on in her mind and if im honest i dont want to know. I keep out her way. But shes upset and she puts that on my mum. My mum has too much to deal with. We're declaring ourselves as homeless. We're not homeless. We have a home. But we wont soon. Well my dad says as long as theres a roof above his head we'll always have a home. I would never leave my mum, thats what he wants and i can see right through him. His new girlfriend favours my sister and its so clear to me that im not wanted. But i have to go, my mum needs the time by herself. Maybe i am wanted. I have no idea. I dont feel it. But i love him, he's my dad. He's taking my mum to court, going back on the agreement.
I lost my bestfriend. A new girl came and as she said she was the only one who made an effort with her. Thats not true. We made an effort. We did. She didnt want to know. She wanted a bestfriend and she didnt care who it was. She tried to split another 2 of my friends up and when that didnt work. She wanted my bestfriend. And you know what? She got her. I fought for my bestfriend, I fought and i fought. But it came to a point when i realised, i was fighting for something i didnt even want anymore. She wasnt the person i knew. So i stopped fighting, and im happier without her. Shes still around. She realised she needs me, but i dont need her anymore. She tags along but shes not wanted. She was cruel. Horrible because she thought she had a new friend. She didnt realise she pushed everyone else away.
My papa has skin cancer. He's had it before. Had it removed over and over again. But its back. He's old and he's sick of fighting aswell. He's not getting it removed. It breaks my heart to know that it wont go away. Or it probably wont. And one day he'll be another person i'll lose.
My grandma had breast cancer. I found out 2 days ago. Im so close to her. I dont want to lose her aswell. Im not good at dealing with these things so i hide my feelings. I pretend it doesnt hurt me. I believe it myself. But i builds up. And i break down. I just someone to be there. Someone i know i'll never lose. But thats impossible. I lose everyone. I guess the only person you can rely on is yourself.

Nothing to say.

I havent wrote on this for a while.
Summers past.
It was ok. We all expected more from summer 2010 I'd say.
Lost my bestfriend.
Did i tell you my mum and dad slit up?
My gran & papa have cancer.
I could be worse off.