Repulsive Me.

Eww. Disgusting. Me.
Do you ever just look in the mirror and feel sick? I do. Recently my bodies made me feel sick even just to think about it. Maybe its because i put back on all the weight i lost so quickly i didnt have time to kind of re-adjust, get used to it again. But then again i wasnt happy with my size before i lost weight. More importantly, im making myself ill, The amount of food im eating! My bodies rejecting it and i know it fine well, but it doesnt stop the steroids giving me the munchies does it? but if im being honest its not majorly down to the steroids but more the fact that im greedy. My stomachs getting the intense pains again and swelling to the size of a bloody football! But per usual i go on munching my way through anything i can find. So heres the plan; dont eat. It easier to say no to everything than to try and bargain with myself as to what i can and cant have and eventually make up some pathetic reason as to why some bar of chocolate is good for me. So tomorrow will be my first day. This time tomorrow, i will have eaten no more than i have now:)! I'll write tomorrow about how it goes!

How Time Flys.

And sooner than i could have imagined, the holidays are nearly up. Two long weeks, gone in a flash, and even sadder than that, i'll be spending my last day revising. I cant say this holiday was the most exciting ever, consisting only of a couple of drinking sessions, days out and way too many dvd days.. but still it feels good to be out of hospital and back on track.
Back on track and healthily putting on weight as the doctors wanted.. a bit too healthily in my opinion. So im aiming to lose some of this weight again.
Im also aiming to have another full week back at school, and pass my maths exam:).

The Lovely Bones.

Today was totally and utterly dull. The Weather, The Conversation, Everything. What a way to spend the holidays. But i finally got around to watching The Lovely Bones, and it was great as i expected, and surely cheered my day up!

Fights.

Why do people feel the need to fight over everything? The slightest little thing, and someones getting battered, whats the need?
My friends got threatened to get battered today. Maybe thats why im thinking about this right now, but really, near enough every week theres a fight at school. I can understand people being angry about things but i honestly dont understand that people can be so stupid at times they cant even attempt to see it from the other persons point of view?

The First.

My first ever blog. My first ever writing in it.

Perhaps i dont even know where to start.
Im 14, and yesterday i realised i was in remision. Im better, for now anyway. For the past 2/3 months ive been in and out of hospital numerous times, it almost starts to seem normal. Not going to school, not going out. Its exhausting, one medication after the other, none working. I dont want to say whats wrong yet, ive not told many people, not sure why really, its just easier i guess. Its not that bad. I'll have it forever, have a relapse about once a year the doctor says. But i'll live, i'll live a practically normal life. But the point is, im in remision, the medications working and i find it amusing the fact that i only just realised this. The fact i can go out again, the fact that right now, im living a normal life again, and it really trully feels great.