After a few days it becomes easier to eat less and excersize more I think

Ok so yeah, if i get down to 8 and a half stone I can have a bowl of supernoodles ok? Although maybe by then it wont be supernoodles, maybe I'll crave something else by then even though im not actually craving supernoodles right now I think they'd be nice

Breakfast: coffee

I'm just so unhappy with my body. My mum pointed out today that I was bursting out of my school shirt. I mean, I know that. I feel that every second of the day. I've been walking around trying desperately to hold it in and wrap my jacket around me and hope no one sees it and here you are.. Pointing it out right in the middle of the restraunt. And I can't tell you! I laugh, I just fucking laugh it off but that is what I have to do. Do I tell you how many nights I have spent on pro ana blogs or cried myself to sleep or purged because I felt so guilty? No. Because that's not fucking normal. Normal is accepting that yes mum, I am fat. And thank you for that complement, it was lovely. I came home and I turned on the shower and I purged until my mouth was bleeding and my head hurt. And then I sat on the floor in the scalding water and I cried. But after a while, you know, I had to pull myself together because I know you will be suspicious. And so I came to bed , where I am right now and I'm trying to talk to this blog which isn't even a person just because I really fucking need someone to understand and I just I need to lose weight and I feel sick at myself and its just fucking horrible and I just need someone

I swear excersise makes people happier

I will do this every day

Breakfast: half an apple 28
Lunch: chicken burger & chips (Toni macaroni) 520 (could be wrong that just the average)
Snack: yum yum 220
Dinner: 2 dairy lee light triangles 50

Walked for an hour and a half: burned 292

= 476

Dad brought home Krispy Kreme doughnuts and kinder bars so I binged a lot. I think I have indigestion or something. Its upsetting my crohns and I've put on like 4 pounds. Ah, help.

I only binged a day and a half but I feel disgusting and I've done no excersize

Breakfast: breakfast bar - 70

I stayed off school yesterday and binged so much!! I need to get my shit back together before Monday

So basically I've ate a ton of sweets and toast since I came in, defo still under 1000. I'm trying to be sick and dodge my ms prelim tomorrow

I'm still under 9 stone. Today may be hard because I'll go to my grandmas for dinner and all there is to do is eat, it's hard to avoid it

Crisps: 168
Hot chocolate: 38
2 mini eggs, 2 jelly faces, 1 dummy

Im hungover. And im STARVING. And this coffee is just not doing it for me right now, I literally want to cry. I want a mcdonalds and a cheese and pickle toastie and the crisps from the other room and toast and beans and a bacon roll

I could really go a chicken burger right now, with all the mayo and salad and chicken and mmmm omg I love chicken. Chicken has to be one of the best foods. Like you know that burger I had in work yesterday, I could soooo go that like right now or 2 maybe 2 or even 3 probably and McDonald's chips and the BBQ sauce omg what uhhhh this would be so good. Imagine being so skinny and eating all this and people are like 'how can you be so skinny?!' And they're so jealous and you fucking enjoy that burger because you worked for that shit. I want that.

I think its more of a deal that I lost weight because I intended not to drink last night because of the calories, got drunk and still lost weight. I think I should fast today, because although later I know i'll feel like probably having chilli and nachos or dairy lee on toast, I have all this shitty alcohol in my system and it needs to leave. And until it does im not sure how many calories I will have put on, I might go a walk later, but i'll more than likely do some more squats/lunches/crunches etc because that means not having to face my hangover so much. I also have an assignment to write on an empty stomach which will be pleasant.

Breakfast: Coffee

Ok so, I'm 124 pounds this morning. I know to most people, that is like nothing but it means im below 9 stone and so, its more achieveable to reach 119 pounds by next monday. I have hospital and I want to see all their reactions since the last time they were like woah you gained weight!

Breakfast: Apple and a handful of raspberrys - 53 + 10 = 63
Lunch: Chicken burger from work (Mcdonalds has 360 calories, so I'll go with that)
Dinner: Jelly babies - 170 (OMG DID NOT KNOW THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH)
             Kinder Bar - 118
             2 Drumstick lolly - 160

= 871 Wow so much. Need to burn this off before I go out tonight

I want to go into a shop and try on a size 8 jeans and for them to be too big. I think that would be nice

Shit that's too much, ok I won't eat the other half of the tin of spaghetti left. So thats only 105 calories

I had a tin of spaghetti hoops which are 210 calories.
I think I may be less than 600 calories today: Baby bells are 42 each so 84, 95 calories in a banana. Unsure about the icing but surely not over 200?

I watched a Fearne Cotton documentary on anorexia, it stopped my urge to binge.

I tried to find a pro ana buddy, no ones replying

Ok so basically, I didn't really plan to use this again. I've been using tumblr more. But I wanted a blog where I could record my weight loss and I considered tumblr yeah but then I really want to be able to post pictures of myself and how much weight I've lost and I'm not sure I feel comfortable doing it on there since my friends follow me so I thought I should make good use of this blog.

Current weight: 127 pounds
Goal weight: 119 pounds
Ultimate weight: 112 pounds

Breakfast: nothing
Lunch: 2 Baby Bells, tiny slice of cake
Snack: 2 spoons of icing and one strawberry lace one banana