I'm just so unhappy with my body. My mum pointed out today that I was bursting out of my school shirt. I mean, I know that. I feel that every second of the day. I've been walking around trying desperately to hold it in and wrap my jacket around me and hope no one sees it and here you are.. Pointing it out right in the middle of the restraunt. And I can't tell you! I laugh, I just fucking laugh it off but that is what I have to do. Do I tell you how many nights I have spent on pro ana blogs or cried myself to sleep or purged because I felt so guilty? No. Because that's not fucking normal. Normal is accepting that yes mum, I am fat. And thank you for that complement, it was lovely. I came home and I turned on the shower and I purged until my mouth was bleeding and my head hurt. And then I sat on the floor in the scalding water and I cried. But after a while, you know, I had to pull myself together because I know you will be suspicious. And so I came to bed , where I am right now and I'm trying to talk to this blog which isn't even a person just because I really fucking need someone to understand and I just I need to lose weight and I feel sick at myself and its just fucking horrible and I just need someone