Whos the parent?

People say you learn how to parent from your own parents; I totally disagree. Its just been making me think recently how little i see my mum, i never want to be like that with my kids. I remember arguements so cleary from when i was younger. I'll use the naughty step and deal with things properly. One of the first memories i have of my dad was him dragging me down the stairs, thats terrifying when your so young, trying desperately to stand on your feet and getting pulled so fast you dont get the chance. I remember the huge huge arguements with my mum. I never ever want my kids to be scared of me. I wish i could tell my mum things more. Im so excited for getting my tattoo on Saturday, and i cant even share that with her. She'll see it once i have it, but the excitements half the fun! At this age, some of my drunken stories and the funniest things i have to tell, and i cant share that with her without getting an rant about what im doing wrong. I tell her people will drink at my party, that i'll try drugs. She says i wont. She wont just let me talk. I want to tell her about Ally like she tells me about her boyfriends, to tell her how much i love him, for her to offer to take me to the doctors like my dad did. I want her to let Ally stay. She doesnt seem like a mum to me. She's out just now, always is now adays. I'll be asleep by the time she's home. Im growing up and i dont even think she realises it. I cant remember the last time she made me dinner, lunch, breakfast even. I get myself to work and back. I make sure my school stuffs done, that my sisters ok, that the food thats moulded gets put in the bin, that the cats are fed, the house is locked up for the night. And she'll come creaping in at what? 2 in the morning. These are the things shes supposed to be doing right?