Forgive but never forget

I thought about finishing it, i had had enough. The arguements are just too much and everyones getting hurt way more than either of us intended. I'd miss him, i know i would; but for the first time i was actually comfortable with us finishing. But Ally doesn't want us to finish, he wants to change and make this work. I need him to change for this to work but making someone change for you is wrong. I do love him for who he is, and theres parts of him that are just amazing but theres also parts of him that i despise. I'm not doing any more arguements and i'm serious, if we start arguing again and im walking away from this. He doesn't know anything i know about asking other girls for sex and telling them to come to his, planning to meet up with them, saying they look good. They've promised to tell me if he starts texting them again, so im not telling Ally i know just to wait and see if he does it again. I'm smarter than he thinks i am, he thinks i'm so oblivious and really; its him who is.
When i went over to his on wednesday i told him i didn't want to do anything 'sexual', i just wanted to talk. I'm so glad i did. We laughed, so much! I've not laughed with him like that in a long, long time. We talked about everything and he cried about not wanting to lose me. The funny thing is, when we were listening to music he started to sing 'broken strings' to me. But that song will always remind me of Matt, i don't think i'll ever forget Matt. Matt's the only reason i understand what Ally means when he says he'll always have something for Laura. I'll always love Matt, but just in a different way to before. So it was really strange for Ally to sing a song that reminded me of my ex.
But last night everyone was in Kirkton again. It's started to go too far, i mean i knew people were smoking weed and drinking.. but valy's, coke, sex, fireworks & fights. It's quite scary to be honest. I mean we're all thrilled by it when we're drunk, but to look at that situation with sober eyes, doesn't make me want to go there again. Ally, Andrew, Shannon & Me ended up coming back to my house and having a big chat and spooning sesh. We've all made a deal 'no sex for a month to prove your not just with each other for sex'. Should be fun.