Just being there

I've just got home from the cinema. Its Ally's birthday today. I stayed at his last night and we just chilled in the house, just us two. Then i got ready at his this morning and went to the cinema and i'm just home. I feel really alone. Its strange you know, to come home to my own house and realize just how much more comfortable i am in his house. I mean i'm staying there again tomorrow, i'm only staying here because i have work tomorrow. I felt like we were kind of off today, kind of like he more wanted to be with his friends than me but even just having him there reassures me. I don't know why, but i stop myself from touching him. If i want to hold his hand, i don't. If i want to cuddle him, i don't. That must feel horrible to him, i know it must look like i just don't want to, but i do more than anything. One of the best feelings in the world is him putting his arm round me in the middle of the night, pulling me close. Then i know i'm not alone.