Holding back so much i want to say

Its when i'm not busy it hits me. I kills me, you know. He asked another girl for sex and he thinks he's got away with it. He doesn't even have the curtsy to tell me. Its going to be really damn hard for me to forgive him for this. I do think he loves me, when he cries and when he cuddles me in the middle of the night. But i'll never understand how you can do that to someone you love. He went in a mood last night because i was texting Andrew, and he wouldn't tell me why. He admitted it eventually and had held it back because he knew it was stupid. But after i comforted him and reassured him that nothing was going on, i lay there thinking that he has no bloody idea everything i'm holding back from him right now.