At the end of the day, whos going to be there for me?

My dads tearing my family apart.
He told me he didnt want to see me or talk to me. My mum, me and my sister were all in tears. But im stronger than that. Well honestly, im falling apart inside, but this is another time when i need to hold myself together, and not show people that side of me. My dads now decided that he wants to talk to me again. And i was going to tell him no. Going to tell him that ive given him so many chances and everytime he fucks me about and i end up the one in tears, and everytime im the one somehow saying sorry? But i didnt. I try not to hold grudges. I try to forgive people. So i told him id meet him, and talk, but im never going to his house again, and i'll tell him that when i see him. I know fine well im not wanted there, he's made that perfectly clear, and i never wanna be back there again. I want this sorted for the start of next year but im telling you one thing for sure, this is his last chance. I told connor all of this and i have no idea why, i just dont even know who to talk to right now.
So tonight my mum and sister went shopping, and my mum comes back shouting that my dads a fucking bastard. And they both end up in tears, my mum never wants to hear about him again, shes had so many sleepless nights. But he's totally different with my sister, and she loves him, she wants to see him. So i end up the one holding my family together, the one acting like the parent. Standing in the kitchen hugging my mum whos in tears telling them both everything will be ok. Telling them what would happen and what they should do. But you know, at the end of the day, whos there to do that for me? Whos there to tell me what i should do? Whos there to tell me that everything will be ok? To dry my tears? To even realise that ive been on the verge of tears all day, and that ive just had enought practice in hiding that.