Get rid

I told my mum last night, she wasn't angry or upset. She was there for me, in the best possible way and i'll always be grateful for everything both her & Allys mum are doing for me right now. I wanted to talk to her about how much doubt im having right now about having an abortion but the first thing she asked was 'i take it you are getting rid of it?'. Maybe it was her wording, maybe my hesitance to disappoint her, either way i told her i was sure i was. I hate that 'getting rid', i've said it myself, but its horrible its not something you can 'get rid' of, its a baby, my baby. I keep crying everytime i think of it, im really not sure. Im doing this for Ally. Im going to hospital a week on Friday.