At some point i'll need someone else

Its not that i even want Ben or even Calum. I flirt with them, i text, i act like im interested. But im not. The only guy i want is Ally. I know doing all this hurts him, makes him angry and the guilt it gives me makes me feel physically sick. But yet i still do it. I'd never cheat on him, never even want to. Im not interested in the slightest in either of them. Perhaps its the hatred for Bria, the jealousy i still feel. I want him to feel that, well actually i don't, its horrible. But I want him to know that i could have someone just as easily as i could. Bria's his ex, Calum's mine. It works, the jealousy. He hates Calum. I don't want to do this, i don't want to hurt him, but i need to keep the reminder that at some point we will finish and i need someone else. He'll run off with Bria, or Laura and some other stupid bitch and i'll need to show him that i don't give a shit. And the way to do that? Ben? Calum?