I want the future, but do i want it now?

I wish i wasn't in limbo all the time. Tell me what you want! Is it even me anymore? You send me long texts saying you love me and how amazing i am and how sorry you are. But i want the everyday reminders. I want you to text me first. I want you to miss me like i miss you. Post random love hearts on my facebook. Just let me know you think of me. Because i think of you all day, everyday. There's something missing. I love you with all my heart, but im just not sure either of us are totally in this anymore. We hide things from each other, its an effort to try and talk to each other. Maybe this is what you were feeling before. I want to cuddle you in the winter, i want my birthday party with you, i want bonfire night with you, i want christmas. You dont make me laugh anymore.