Uncertainty, insecurity & fear

Im so scared. I love Ally more than i've ever loved anyone and its terrifying to know how much he could hurt me. I need to know how he feels everyday or else i start to become paranoid, and thats my problem not his i know. Neither of us have done this before and i don't think either of us really know how to react to how we feel. I certainly don't. He's either a great liar or just afraid to show his feelings to anyone else. I know he loves me, when he looks in my eyes and tells me, i could trust him with my life. But when im not around, or when other people are? He's different. And i accept that, i accept all the little parts of him i dislike because honestly, i don't know how to deal with them. He has a real temper, i saw that last night. I mentioned to him about showing that he cares about me a bit more. He swore, and shouted and wouldn't calm down. And that scares me, how fast his mood changes, the anger. I back down, i see myself doing it and its not because i think i'm wrong. Its because i'm scared. Scared of not knowing his feelings. Scared of being with him. Scared of being without him.