Six months a guessing game

Wow, 6 months today. Things aren't perfect, nothing is though. The moment when you lower your respect for yourself occurs in the exact second your love for someone multiplies by a million. The idiots you see being told exactly what to do by their partner, and you wonder why? So many people have been there. You'll say that would never be you, say you'd never let some treat you like that. But it is you. Or it will be. Its the desperation to hold on to someone. To change your full self for that person. The moment when you realise someones slipping away from you and you'll do anything to pull them back. You say your friends always come first, you'd never put a boy first. Thousands of girls have said it. I've said it. It all changes you know? Id put Ally before anyone. No one else in the world makes me feel the way he does. I just wish i'd realised this before. I tried to make him jealous, but why? If i loved him, why? Because it did make him jealous, it hurt him. Maybe i wanted to make him know he could lose me, i made him know that so much it made him want to walk away. I was wrong, so wrong. I'd do anything in the world to take back everything i've done to him. To make him love me as much as he did. Its a guessing game, love. Guessing the right things, and the wrong. Guessing people's feelings, thoughts. Guessing what they want, what they dont. I guess i made alot of mistakes.